David Durovy, Founder and Director
There is no doubt in my mind that love is the basis and foundation of all that matters. It may be the glue that holds everything together, the fabric of the universe so to speak, and the way and the heart of both faith and science. A bold statement I realize, and I also know that I know so very little. So who am I to embark on this endless journey? A fellow human being who just wants more in this life, a traveling companion who has fallen in love with love.
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A life of living lovingly
"Our lives are of great worth if we accept with good grace the situations Providence places us in, and go on living lovingly." Dr. Takshi Nagai, Mystic of Nagasaki (1908-1951)
“The beginning of Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them” - Thomas Merton
True peace will come only when every individual finds peace within himself; when we have all vanquished and transformed our hatred for our fellow human beings . . . even into love one day, although perhaps that is asking too much. It is, however, the only solution. — Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life
2016 was the beginning of my
Year Life of Living Lovingly with the intention to experience, experiment with, discover, and engender love as the bond which connects us all. This experience-based connection can give rise to a heartfelt respect and a concern for all sentient beings and a world that works for everyone.
After ten years of serving as the president of The Post Institute writing for and helping to educate parents and professionals of adopted, foster, and diagnosed children, I began a journey of falling in love with love. I admit to being a "hopeless romantic" of a sort, though not in the search for a mate, of which I found over twenty-five years ago. To say it simply, I believe that there is no higher purpose or station in life than to experience, spread, and share love to and with all, as in "love one another," no exceptions.
To explain this desire, mission, purpose in life would be a venture of failure for me as I cannot find a place, event or situation where this was introduced to me or inspired in me where I grasped in a moment that which I now find myself fully dedicated to. It was more of a lifelong process of trial and error, mostly error. I can say that meeting Bryan Post and The Post Institute in our years of fostering highly dis-regulated children, who introduced me to a world I believed in but never experienced - unconditional love. Having fostered twenty-seven children over a thirteen-year period, and adopted four from the Virginia Foster Care system, I saw a great need for something that seemed to be missing in too many families. It wasn't discipline, it wasn't structure, it wasn't consistency, and it wasn't even a mother and father. All of these in some way are important, but to paraphrase St. Paul as Catholics call him or just Paul as protestant denominations refer to him, in one of his letters, "without love I will not see the result I want". And that, is a world where children and adults know and feel that they are loved, very deeply and completely loved—no matter who they are or what they have done or haven't done.
I speak not just of a psychological state, or even as spiritual or religious or any limited expressions of conditional or transactional love—if you do this, then I will love you. It is a world where there is nothing a child or adult can do to earn it, and nothing that can be done to lose it. It is an often used but less understood phrase, unconditional love. There is lots of science and research which shows love and compassion as a powerful forces to help people regulate behaviors - both children and adults and even animals.
Through this work, I will attempt to love unconditionally, searching out people, ideas, books, podcasts, videos, my own and other's experiences that may either validate or disprove love as the one thing that in some way, we all want and need. It may be true that there is no one size fits all, and that not everything works for everyone, but I will at least for myself, see what living lovingly may offer that can be valuable for anyone who would like a more fulfilled, joy-filled, and meaning-filled life.
People are illogical, love them anyway. The good you do today is forgotten tomorrow, love anyway, your motives are constantly questioned, love anyway.—Mother Teresa
Your task is not to seek for love but merely seek and find the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.—Rumi
They will know you are disciples of mine by your love for one another—Jesus
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